Classic discussion between Wenger and a Russian narrated
By JHC the gooner
For some comic relief for the many bored on this typical silly season Thursday, here is a play to go along with your cold beers.
Arsene Wenger : Hello Alisher, how are you today?
Alisher Usmanov : Hungry.
AW : Tomas! bring Alisher some tea + biscuits.
Rosicky : Right away, boss!
*Tomas leaves the room, and as he does Theo enters*
Theo: Arsene?…..Arsene?……ARSENE!
AW : Yes, Theo?
Theo : Why didn’t Stuart Pearce play me all the time at the Under 21 Championships?
AW : Theo,you know im still upset you went to Sweden without my consent, now go to your room.
Theo: Arsene, can I have a hug goodnight?
AW: Ask Song for one, he is an expert in giving hugs.
*Theo sprints out of the room with his colouring book + blanket, and in the process runs into Tomas coming back into the room*
*Rosicky drops the tea + biscuits.*
Rosicky: Aaaarrrrrgggghhhh! My foot, Arsene, I think I’ve hurt myse-
AW: I know the rest, go on, off you trot, we will see you next year.
Alisher Usmanov : Erm, Arsene can we get back to the meeting?
AW: Of course, now what is it you exactly what to give us?
AU: Money.
AW: Money?
AU : Money. *AU pulls a white cat out of his bag and begins to stroke it* Money arsene, is the key to sucsess. Look at Man U. They have signed Valencia and straightaway he is the best right winger in the world.
AW: Well I wouldnt say the best-
AU: Ssssshhhhh. I am talking. Do not interrupt me or you may be in trouble.
AW: Ahem, im sorry what? Trouble?
AU : Yes….Trouble.
AW : Oooookkkk *rolls eyes* So why do you want to give us money?
AU: I want to give you money so that you can buy the best players in the world.
AW: We dont need them, we have youth.
AU: thats not good enough.
AW: We have Denilson.
AU: He is not good enough.
AW: So who is good enough?
AU : Melo.
AW : Melo?
AU : MELO! *Jumps up and begins to dance* MELO!!! MELO!!! MELO!!!!
AW: We wanted to sign Melo, but he wants to stay in Italy.
AU: Oh, well who else do we have?
AW : We have Eboue.
AU : Who?
AW: Eboue, you know. Funny guy, likes to dance.
AU: Eboue is rubbish.
AW: Get out.
AU: What?
AW: Get out. Eboue is God. End of.
AU: Well surely he cant be God, I mea-
AW: HE IS GOD. END OF!
AU: Ok, ok. Anyway I want to give you money and I can promise you that your family wont be in harm.
AW: Ok, well that sounds goo- Wait, what? Why did you say that end bit?
AU: No reason.
AW: Alright, you know what. Let’s do it. I’ll accept your offer and we will get some big money signings into the Emirates.
AU: You accept?
AW: yep.
AU: Really?
AW : Yep, definately, I’ll see you later. I can hear William crying and Ade on his phone. Ade if this is a call to Milan again, then I swear to God-
Eboue: Yeah?
AW: Oh no, I dont mean you Eboue, just go back to bed!
*AW leaves the board room, leaving Usmanov there alone with the cat*
[EDIT]No cat. Usmanov has eaten it.[EDIT]
AU: Wow. i cant believe he accepted my offer, I mean I thought he would say no. Where am I gonna get the cash from?
Im not really rich, im just using cloned cards from my arch-enemy Roman Abramovich. I need to get some cash quick.
Wait, I know who to ask….Yeah, they will definately help me.
*Alisher Usmanov picks up his phone and begins to frantically dials a number…The phone is answered.*
AU: Hello………Is that Ocean Finance?
Oh, so FUNNY. Not
Loooooool …VERY NICE .
:/
Believe me when I say you’re not very good at jokes.
fm – spit out some hilarious stuff about your mom for us then mate.
test
u guys at arsenal spot bored or what!
Just kidding i really enjoyed that! Thanks for the laugh…eboue is god?! Thomas as the tea boy?! effin brilliant! Makes a pleasant change from reading the same story churned out by 100 different bloggers. Nice one!
what a load of donkey dick
Did anyone say “donkey dick”?
…umm, this is not gaymania.com mate.
It takes more energy to post a negative comment then it does simply to jog on, so why dont u fuckers jog on instead of giving this guy a hard time. At least he tried something different for YOUR entertainment, at least fucking appreciate that even if u dont like it.
Cesky, I bet they’ll rather have another read of “Wilshere signs new long term contract”…hehe
lol Randy, think u might be right there, maybe its an intelligence thing, with the memory of a goldfish i guess every time they read it its news to them. They just attack what they dont understand.
Exactly, and it’s better off if I ban them from even speaking or just ignore these bunch of “it”s
ahahahaha preety gud lol
rosicky always injured arsenal as poor as ever lol
anyone c reals new team solid lol
up gunnerz
randy ban them all these fake fans critisize and give negative comments on just about everything lol
hello anyone hea
thta was great randy this site is great and keep it up that think was just funny
you’re not funny so don’t try.
How come you didn`t devote a thread to Michael Jackson?
I thought the Tomas part was clever and funny
paimful u r painful its just a joke try to smile
Nice, it looks funny to me. Go on.
RIP MJ, maybe you didn’t see this?
http://arsenalspot.net/2009/06/r-i-p-michael-jackson-found-dead-from-arsenal-spot/
maure sign the bst striker in the world
http://goal.com/en/news/8/main/2009/07/02/1360552/breaking-news-michael-owen-will-sign-for-manchester-united
lol
they might win the preiemer leauge now lol hahahahahahahaha
loool gd gd keep da jokz up mate,need 1 about song/diaby and sendo talkn bout their talent maybe
See you next year. that was funny. I thought AU was the Cat. and what is Ocean Finance by the way???
haha i like it, i think you shoudl do every update in this format haha :L
Hilarious stuff! Don’t listen to the grumpy fools with no sense of humour. Their wives probably denied them sex last night. We still need A Dm & a solid CB.
Nice! Made me laugh at the beginning of the day. Eboue is god – end of…
well. Eboue is nt enough at arsenal level , but thanks wht he did for us.
Tomas is da best .ask his opponents
classic..
Wow, I just realized there are a shit load of idiots who simply come here to type abuse. Sometimes they don’t even know what the article is about but just want to bash. Thanks guys.
A guy who asks whether I didn’t devote a thread to Michael Jackson (when this site is the only one that immediately did on the day he died) is absurd.
I guess there is not much for all you losers to hit on me about huh? pathetic.
never mind them randy….did u hear gibbs signed a new four year deal. they are coming thick and fast,Walcott, Fabianski, Ramsey, Wilshere and now gibbs.still waiting for RVP….
Yh Usama, I thought RVP was the one who would complete the contract hat-trick today but it’s not too late to read arsenal.com’s announcement later today…
Lol that was absolutely hilarious! =D